Wizard Job Interview

“Incendio, how do you actually become a wizard?” Alec asked.

“You’re born a wizard, but if you want to get one of the best wizarding jobs you have to graduate from the University and apply yourself.”

“Were you ever able to get one of those good jobs?”

Incendio looked down and shuffled his feet. “No, the interviewer didn’t like the advanced spell I performed and claimed I wasn’t a real magician. He’s a fool and one day I will exact my revenge upon him.”

“Oh my gosh. What spell did you do?” Alec asked.

“Like I said, it’s advanced. You’re not ready for it yet, boy.”

Incendio could still remember every detail of that fateful day…

** Queue Flashback **

FarticusMaximo

Artwork by Dave Neale


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What’s in a name?

“Incendio?” Alec asked. “I’ve been wondering… What’s your last name?”

“Coalburn, but don’t bother trying to map out my lineage, boy. It’s enough for you to know that I was descended from kings and the like.”

Alec smirked. “Seriously? Incendio Coal-Burn? I don’t believe that’s your real name. Tell me the truth. You owe me that.”

Incendio scoffed. “I don’t owe you anything.”

“What about all my gold you gambled away? Or the three or four times I saved your life this week? I can go on and on.”

“Fine…” Incendio sighed, “My real name is Alec…”

“Oh, come on. That’s my name.”

“Well, it’s my name too, but ‘Alec the Fire Mage’ doesn’t inspire fear in the hearts of men. At least, not according to the study I commissioned early in my wizarding career. In fact, not one of the peasants in my focus group found the name ‘Alec’ to be very mystical, cryptic, or mysterious in the slightest. To be honest, they found ‘Alec’ to be quite comprehendible.

“They really liked Incendio Coalburn, with Flint Kindleman and Blayze Embersmith coming in second and third places respectively, but ‘Alec’, no… ‘Alec the Fire Mage’ caused one of the 12 test subjects to throw up and gave several others heartburn.

“‘Alec’ is just not a good, strong name. It sounds cowardly, weak, and, as one test subject so eloquently put it, reminds one of a feeble-minded man-child… Why I was given the name is beyond me.”

Alec stared hard at Incendio.

“Don’t look at me that way, boy! The name suits you just fine.”


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Skinning Cats

Incendio and Alec woke to find all their money had been stolen during the night.

They had planned to invest their savings in a highly profitable candle making business, thus becoming rich beyond their wildest dreams, but those plans were dashed on the rocks like so many eggs thrown down from someplace high onto those very same rocks I just mentioned. Incendio and Alec would have to change their plans.

“Well, there’s more than one way to skin a cat,” Alec said.

Incendio grimaced and spat, “I absolutely hate that phrase!”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to offend,” Alec stammered.

“It’s not that. It’s just that the world of Academia has proven beyond any doubt that there is exactly one precise way to skin a cat. Any other ways are barbaric and butcherous, and I just won’t stand for it.”

“But that one particular way is okay?”

“Yeah, that one way is fine.”


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Priorities

Incendio had grown tired of his ward’s constant badgering about prioritization. Some things are more important than others, and Incendio understood that, but it was getting ridiculous lately. The boy was clearly just being lazy.

“Alec, when would be a good time for you to mend my cloak? These holes won’t sew themselves, you know.”

Alec took a deep breath. “Do you remember our talk about priorities?”

“Yes, and I’m tired of hearing about them!” Incendio yelled. “I really think you’re avoiding the work on purpose! Don’t you know that my needs are always of paramount importance?”

“It’s just a cloak. It has a few holes. Not a big deal,” Alec said quickly between breaths.

“Just a cloak?! A cloak has many uses you can’t even begin to understand! And this is a magician’s cloak, which has even more! I can store things in these little pockets, for example, and it’s mighty useful in the rain, let me tell you!”

Alec looked up, panting. “You do see that I’m performing CPR on a dying child at the moment, right?”

“Oh.” Incendio hadn’t really noticed that, so he thought for a moment, then said, “Well, can’t that wait? My cloak…”


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An epic, role-playing, adventure quest with lots of brain-training mini-games!

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It’s hangman with a fantasy twist! Avoid the hangman’s noose by solving word puzzles to defeat those who stand in the way of your freedom!